Self-love for dummies

Bijgewerkt op: 1 okt. 2020

In the path of karmic transformations, many people at some point come to the conclusion that their self-esteem is very low. They must determine that they have built up a lot in their lives to make up for that lack of self-worth. This can be on a personal, professional or relational level. But deep down, that knot keeps sending out beliefs that they are worthless.

This often goes to the level of "I am not worth living".

That basic belief then overshadows the entire life.

In order to become aware of this, that conviction will also manifest itself in matter. We will constantly create situations where that sense of worthlessness will be confirmed.

Life has something for everyone for that. There is no shortage of variations on the theme: professional failures, mental or physical illness, being excluded from groups of friends, ...

You name it.

Undoubtedly, in our childhood that karmic injury was strongly triggered by rejection. These are experiences of our personality in which that self-esteem was completely shattered: being embarrassed, made fun of, not taken seriously, ...

We get exactly those circumstances on our plate that come to us the strongest.

It is already a big step if we have become aware of that lack of self-worth. It is a phase when we begin to see the impact of that lack in many areas of our lives. It is a predominant program in which we function and usually see no way out. After all, we have never known other than to have no self-esteem.

But then, what after becoming aware of that program?

How can we do something about that in the matter?

Because one thing is clear: we will have to do it ourselves. We should not expect confirmation and appreciation from outside, as we did as a child.

How the hell can we start developing self-love if we don't have one?

It is a question that many people encounter.

It seems like an impossible task to love yourself.

An essential key in that process is "depersonalization". When we disconnect our self-love from our person, it becomes a little easier for most people.

You then no longer give that self-care to yourself but, for example, to your inner hurt child. Because just like it would be about yourself, you block.

Then you do it for that little child in you who has been begging for love and appreciation for years. There is an opening there because people without self-esteem are usually super trained to show off for others. Well, now you can show yourself to that underappreciated part of yourself. Think of it as an energetic zone in your consciousness that needs all your attention to heal. And it needs that attention from you. It won't get it from anyone else. This method of depersonalization appeals to your sense of responsibility. And let that again be a very strongly developed result of a hurt self-esteem. So with this method, we use our developed survival techniques for a different purpose. This time, not to make up for our lack of self-worth, but to take care of that hurt part of ourselves as a loving parent.

In concrete terms, many people will have to learn to give themselves attention like a newborn baby. Providing for themselves the primary needs.

This starts with body care and builds on with attention and appreciation. Can we allow ourselves something without having to fight hard first?

Simply because we like to start seeing ourselves, just as we can feel the love for a newborn baby. Not because we deserve it after some achievement.

A small gift for ourselves, a flower, a moment of rest with some classical music, ...

For that we have to dare to sink into our feelings to make contact with that little child in us. We need that?

You can do the exercise at any time of the day. Even if you cannot directly meet those needs, your attention is there. And that's the main thing.

You notice that in this whole story nowhere the attention is on the people outside of ourselves. It is a process that takes place within each of us.

If you manage to practice this process within yourself, observe what is happening around you. There will suddenly be moments in your life that around you will approach you differently. Just prepare for them to start appreciating you.

Without asking for it or striving for it unconsciously. No, they just happen, as a mirror of your inner transformation.

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